On December 22nd, 2017 my best friend left this world after her 2 year battle with cancer. It was an experience that nothing could have prepared me for. With that said I now feel deeply grateful for the gifts received after having gone through this experience.
It has been an initiation into another dimension of profound insight and gained wisdom. And certainly the catalyst to step into newness, in fact it has demanded that of me.
It has added a new layer of richness to my work. It has dissolved the veil, brought me closer to the divine, brought home what really matters, and seemingly forced a major clean up and clear out to live aligned to this next level of consciousness. At times it's been brutal, and other times beautiful.
I miss her most everyday. And whilst people say she's with you, and I feel that at times.. it's not the same as having her here with me in the physical sense.
This beautiful woman was the greatest teacher for me to learn about love, and that carved a place so deep within my heart.
I recall so clearly two years ago learning the news of Gabs cancer, we sat down at the bay, an incredible sunset graced our presence. We were both in a bit of shock that day. How is it that this beautiful healthy woman was about to have an operation to remove cancer?!
As we watched the sun set that evening we cried, we laughed, we prayed… and that was the beginning of a journey that I can only describe as the most difficult and yet the most rewarding 2 years of my life.
I had to learn to love without gain, to be love that stays, to not push my needs in the mix, to keep showing up, and to be selfless. I’m not sure that I got it right every time, I did the best I knew how, secretly coming undone behind the scenes, to once again show up with a smile.
I haven’t shared this story with very many, but today I share to celebrate just who this extraordinary woman was. When I met Gabs I was somewhat guarded, afraid to let her in, as so many before Gabs would come into my world, and then leave. I had created a safety protection, a wall... and this beautiful woman was bringing it down.
I shared my experience with her in those first few weeks of our developing friendship. And her response was to put her hand on mine, and say “I will never leave you’. And in that moment I knew they were so much more than just words; in that moment I felt what was a declaration of truth, and it taught me the most valuable lesson of my life.. the power of love.
Gabs taught me how to have the courage to love without fear… and in turn I learned that love stays, and that I too can be LOVE that stays.
Our friendship was indeed a beautiful love affair between two woman who adored each other, who always found reasons to laugh, to celebrate life, and to honour each other’s journey.
We shared many stunning sunsets, beautiful bay walks.. and conversations of our adventures and travels we would take in our long years of friendship to come.
I can’t help but wish we did more traveling together whilst she was alive, and whilst I can’t have the gift of my beautiful bestie by my side, I will always have her essence in my heart as I watch the sun set, as I drink in the ocean and as I travel to where I know her heart would sing.
I’m not sure if it is trite but the saying “You don’t know what you’ve had until it’s gone”, somehow rings true for me now. I realise I had an exquisite friendship with an exquisite human being. And for that I will live each and every day for the rest of my life in such gratitude.
What an honour it has been to know, to love and to call this beautiful woman.. my best friend.
When you find those deep connections, the ones that just make sense, the ones where you balance each other out, the ones where you know they’re your person as of course they are doing all of life with you.. treasure them every day. And those adventures you keep saying you’ll take together - go!
May our hearts grow bigger as we allow love to be our navigation.
From mine to yours
So much love,
PS - Before she died she recorded a meditation, her message of love below.
Lara lives in Melbourne Australia.